So how does one help a child understand the value of committing to a consistent training schedule? What if they indicate that they don’t want to go to jiujitsu class anymore? How should one respond if their child says: “I don’t like training jiujitsu! It is too hard. I’m quitting.”

 Perhaps the better question is have you sat down with your student to discuss the obligation and opportunity that BJJ entails? Does your student even know that they have made a particular commitment? Do they understand how much struggle is required to reach their goals on the mat? Do they even have goals? Many students who train BJJ simply show up to class without any idea of what their goals or expectations are – is this your child? Learning the value of fulfilling our commitments is as important a life skill as learning how to swim, one that will assist us in all endeavors throughout life, especially the hard times.

 But how can you help a child understand this concept? As parents, we might be tempted to tell our kids to do something along the lines of ‘because I said so’ but this only creates temporary compliance rather than long-term commitment, and temporary compliance will always have to be arduously reinforced if your child doesn’t have a deep personal commitment. If you are like most parents, your kids have likely protested a number of things that are difficult – eating vegetables, going to bed on time, doing homework or housework, etc… Do you merely demand compliance or do you teach your kids why doing the hard things is so valuable? It may not surprise you that tiny humans, just like adults, often struggle to discipline themselves when they don’t see the greater vision or purpose of doing something difficult. Any number of life events can keep us from fulfilling our commitments, and when we think about quitting, we need a strong why in our life to keep us motivated during the difficult times. Albert Einstein once said that ‘if you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.’